I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing
Chapter 4
I mentioned in chapter 3 how I got a little misty-eyed after they wheeled Holly back to surgery. What I didn’t tell you was how the nurse walked in mid-stream. She came in and pulled the curtain back to see if I needed some food or a cup of coffee. I don’t think she expected to see a 6’8” grown man crying like a newborn baby who’s paci just fell out in the middle of the night.
I think it was more awkward for her since I was in such an emotional state, but I didn’t even care at that point. Either way, I think she felt bad for me because she kept popping in every 15 minutes to see if I was ok or needed anything.
Normally I’d be annoyed, but it actually made me feel like we weren’t just a number to these nurses. It felt like we were in this battle together.
I can’t say enough about all the amazing hospital staff we had throughout this journey. We prayed for each and every nurse, doctor, pharmacist, and room service attendant who came into Holly’s room. We told ourselves that whomever walked through that door was going to be coming into a room that was sanctified by the Holy Spirit and they would be blessed by just coming into contact with us.
The Wait Is Over
About three-and-a-half hours into surgery, the nurse came in and said she had just received an update.
The medical assistant had informed her that the doctor was “in the closing process.” She said everything went well and that after surgery, Holly would be wheeled to a post-op room to allow the anesthesia to wear off. I wasn’t shocked to hear that everything went well, but it did become a little easier to breathe in that moment.
About half an hour later, the doctor called me to give me an update on how the surgery went. He went through the entire process, speaking in doctor language that was hard to fully decipher. In his words, the tumor was “massive.” I don’t know if that meant it was bigger than what he had expected or if a golf ball-sized tumor is already considered massive.
I mentioned in a previous chapter how they needed to take out a bone around Holly’s brain to be able to remove the tumor. The doctor said that the tumor was so advanced that it had actually eaten away part of the bone he had to remove. It was also stuck to a major vessel close to her brain stem. This was the hardest part of the surgery because he had to be delicate so he wouldn’t puncture the vessel which would cause massive bleeding.
After removing the tumor, he cauterized around the vessel where the tumor had been attached. Then using a mixture of fat he had cut out of her lower back and titanium, he restructured the bone he had displaced. They stapled her incision up and off she went to the post-op room.
Thank you, Lord, for a competent and amazing neurosurgeon! Praise God for a successful surgery!
God Is Faithful
This is a good time to mention again that God is always faithful. While we were believing God and praying for Him to heal Holly without having surgery, He chose to heal her in another way. The point is, the healing came, even if it wasn’t how we thought it would come.
I’m currently reading an amazing book by some friends of ours named Kevin and Stephanie Mason called You Met Her Where?!. The book tells the story of God’s continual faithfulness through many battles Kevin and Stephanie have faced.
One particular story that resonated with me was about Kevin’s cancer diagnosis. When he found out he had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, he came to a place of shock. He knew God was faithful, but he didn’t know what he had done wrong to deserve such terrible news. After praying hard that God would heal his cancer miraculously, Kevin was just days away from his scheduled surgery.
That Sunday after church, Kevin and Stephanie came forward to talk with their pastor. After telling him the diagnosis, Pastor Gary Keesee told Kevin he needed to prepare himself for a battle in his mind. He was already healed 2,000 years ago when Christ died on the cross. Then he said this:
…Being in faith doesn’t mean you ignore what a doctor tells you. However, if you do need to have surgery, that doesn’t mean you did something wrong or that you were not in faith. Of course, we have seen at times where God has instantaneously healed someone. Other times, we need to be in faith for our healing and trust God to direct our path. This could even mean aligning you to the right doctor to treat a certain disease. Stay in faith and keep trusting God. He will give you the grace to walk this out.
This was so great to read because it was so close to our story. While God didn’t heal Holly instantaneously, I believe he lead us to the best neurosurgeon to treat and extract her tumor without any complications. We were warned that her doctor was a phenomenal neurosurgeon, but didn’t have the best bedside manner. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have a doctor who was great at his job but didn’t have the best people-skills than a doctor with a great personality who didn’t perform the best in the operating room!
Turns out this doctor was great at his job and we never had an issue with his personality! We were truly blessed and know that God orchestrated it all.
Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing
The nurse told me that it usually takes anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours for the anesthesia to wear off. If you know my wife, you know two things are true:
She’s an extremely competitive person who is rarely outdone
She never likes to miss out on what is going on or being said
It wasn’t the least bit surprising to me to hear the neurosurgeon say that Holly was already awake and moving around after only 10-15 minutes in post-op. Leah, Holly’s sister, even joked that she just couldn’t stand to not know what was happening or being said about her in that moment!
Another half hour passed by before I heard some commotion in the hallway. I just barely got out of my chair when the ICU room doors rushed open and the curtain pulled back.
My heart pounded against my chest with anticipation of seeing my wife for the first time since they wheeled her back to surgery. Oh, how I couldn’t wait to finally hold her hand as I looked down and saw her ring still tightly clinging to my pinky finger.
Along with about 10 nurses and medical assistants, Holly’s bed was ushered into her room. Everyone was racing around to get everything set up and plugged in and put into place. In that moment, I felt a rush of emotion sweep over me and I began to get a little dizzy.
Light-Headed and Loopy
I’m not sure if it was the anticipation or the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything in almost 24 hours, but I felt like I was about to pass out. That would be very typical — my wife having major brain surgery and already in the recovery process and I’m the one about to pass out. I felt like those husbands on their wedding day who faint just as their bride is walking down the aisle in the most important moment of her life.
As fast as the nurses and assistants came in, they left when their job was complete. I quickly took a seat in a chair next to Holly’s bed as she laid on her side with her eyes closed. Whatever feeling I had of passing out went away as I sat and stared at my beautiful wife. Even with the huge gauze bandages wrapped around her head, she still looked gorgeous.
She was half-awake and could only mumble words at this point. Speaking of words, the first words she spoke to me came next.
“Who all is in the room!?” she uttered.
“Just me and you, dear,” I said.
“No family or friends are in here!?” she double-checked.
I affirmed that it was only her and me as she quietly drifted off to sleep.
The next couple of hours were a mix of rest, requests for water, and other mumblings as the loopy, anesthesia withdrawals faded away. She also seemed to have a lot of pain, naturally, as she just couldn’t get into a comfortable sleeping position.
Nothing a little morphine couldn’t handle!
Back To Normal
After the first couple of hours back in the ICU, I thought it was going to be a pretty long road of recovery. It wasn’t that I was discouraged, but I just thought the normal path to recovery might be a long one.
I continued to pray over Holly as she was resting. She was in and out of sleep quite a bit, but she was also pretty coherent even when she seemed out of it.
To illustrate that point, on one occasion the nurse came in and asked quietly if I needed anything. I whispered that I was getting hungry and would order food soon, but was waiting until she was fully asleep.
TEN MINUTES went by and out of nowhere I hear Holly say, “What was that you said about waiting until I was asleep to order food??”
Haha, again, she never wants to miss out on ANYTHING (especially food)!
Before I knew it, she was asking me to hand her her phone so that she can start replying back to people who had messaged her during surgery.
I mean seriously, this is TWO hours after having a tumor removed from her brain! It was truly amazing to see God’s faithfulness and His healing power in real time!
To Be Continued
I stayed with Holly until 8pm rolled around that night when the hospital did their daily task of kicking me off the premises. After spending the night and following morning with our four kids at my in-laws, I came back down to the hospital at noon to be with Holly. While I intended to spend the entire day and night by her side in the ICU, God had different plans for us.
The doctor came in around 1:30 that afternoon to see how Holly was recovering. After hearing that she was already up and walking around the room and hallways with the nurses for some physical therapy, he gave us some unexpected but amazing news.
“Well, do you want to go home? We’re not really doing much for you here that you couldn’t do at home.”
SAY WHAAAAT!?!?
So, roughly 30 hours after having major brain surgery, we packed up our stuff and headed home!
While originally planning on wrapping up this series I’ve labeled God’s Faithfulness Through Holly’s Journey in four chapters, I just can’t quite tie a bow on this story just yet. The testimony doesn’t stop here and I’ve got too many cool stories and shout outs left to tell. I just can’t do it justice by squeezing it all into this chapter.
So, if you don’t mind, come on back for the last chapter in this journey coming soon!
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